Wack-a-Mole

Here is a Zen koan: What is the most important thing?

As with most koans, the answer is not what is interesting.

I might respond with:

  • Love
  • Truth
  • Enlightenment
  • Art
  • Compassion
  • Beauty
  • Family
    Blah, Blah, Blah.

In the process of being with the question “What is the most important thing?’ I notice that any of those things needs the other things (and many other things) around it to exist. If you pick one to focus your energy on, you are then playing “Wack-a-mole” to get the other things balanced. I think that this is what life is: playing “Wack-a-mole” to get the things balanced.

Photo by Jessie Greenberg

What I notice is that it’s pretty much “Wack-a-mole” from cradle to grave, no matter what. So, I might as well play “Wack-a-mole” while supporting:

  • Love
  • Truth
  • Enlightenment
  • Art
  • Compassion
  • Beauty
  • Family

Rather than:

  • Money
  • Power
  • Fame
  • Chasing Peak Experiences
  • Being Safe
  • Avoiding fear

What I notice helps
(it’s a long list, here are some highlights)
– Not letting my ego drive
– Transforming my trauma into wisdom
– Learning how to be in authentic relationship with others
– Noticing my self and my delusions
– Paying my own way with useful work
– Keeping my heart open
– Not giving my power to others
– Not supporting war, violence, abuse, bullying, hate…
– Being honest without being hurtful
– Establishing heathy boundaries
– Knowing my values
– Moving towards joy
– Being interested in what is true
– Avoiding Narcissism
– Loving myself
– Trying not to be an ass

It’s a tricky thing to get humans together on a project to play “Wack-a-mole” together in a useful and loving way. It is our nature to take things personally, try to control one another and generally to blow things up. Or, we collectively collapse into bovine followers of some kind of “truth” that is really just a comforting story to help us avoid the fact that we are terrified. We try anyway.

I am interested in being authentic while I am alive playing “Wack-a-mole”. I want to tell the people that I love that I love them. I want to avoid being drawn into the comfortable and entertaining lies that we sell to one another and to ourselves. I want to work and yet not be deluded into thinking that my work defines me.

Myself, as a “teacher” or “coach” or “Manager” I basically do a few things.

  • I witness people and reflect back as accurately as I can.
  • I offer distinctions that help them reframe what they are experiencing in such a way that allows them to minimize anguish.
  • I help them play “Wack-a-mole” in a way that matches their values.
  • I invite them to surrender delusions. Or make them laugh at them. Or I steal them.

We will not “win” at “Wack-a-mole”. Even if we are enlightened, rich, sexy and desirable and almost always happy. We are not here to win. I can’t help you win. We can be our authentic and loving selves. Maybe we can go from “Wack-a-mole” to “Dance-with-a-mole”.

What is the most important thing?
Pay loving attention, because it has already changed.

 

Image by Thomas H foto